Yesterday I visited the ever-wonderful Secret Cinema’s most recent showing of a film, which in true style must remain a secret. Therefore I will review it by mentioning as many different films as possible… here we go.


Getting dressed in an Army costume that made me look like a character from A Few Good Men – although from the strange looks I got you’d have thought I was Mrs. Doubtfire, I managed to get through the Sliding Doors of the tube without going Back to the Future. As we neared our Final Destination the train filled with a mix of fellow cinema lovers all also dressed up in a weird amalgamation of different Army years and more members of ‘the press’ than seen in the entirety of Spotlight (although no priests where present). At this point I was started to Doubt my decision to come and feeling Dumb and Dumber about the situation. The lack of reaction I received from the Others who where going to the film, made me realise that Secret Cinema and Fight Club must share the same first rule. You do not talk about it.


I decided however not to trust my Sixth Sense and make a Great Escape and go to the event anyway, which was the right decision. Arriving at the event your phones are placed in plastic bags and you are told that if you remove them you will be Spirited Away. I did see a Rebel Without A Cause use his phone, but The Watchmen soon made their Descent and he was given An Education into his wrongdoings and soon Departed.

Split into groups upon arrival you are soon introduced to actors, whose performances are Pitch Perfect. They take you a Training Day in varied characters from wacky Beetlejuice style to toned down Citizen Kane’s. It is an amazing experience as they show more range than Leonardo Di Caprio in the Revenant. After receiving your Mission Impossible, you are released into a warehouse the size of the one in Raiders of the Lost Ark but dressed like that of Dogville. You then have to run further than Forrest Gump in what essentially becomes a real-life RPG. There are fewer things more enjoyable than completing tasks that incorporate The Good, The Bad and The Ugly from the film, as you are immersed in the 1960’s with more realism than even Austin Powers could manage.


Sometimes it feels like Catch Me If You Can as you chase after the characters, and you often feel like a Raging Bull running around with no sense of direction. But that doesn’t stop you from having fun as the plot of the night becomes more complex than Inception. There are secret passwords to learn if you are to explore the venue Inside Out with some rooms looking like the Moulin Rouge.

The night is very pro American Beauty, with political statements made regularly. All The President’s Men shouting instructions at you is enough to make you want to go Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Luckily there is Brooklyn lager regularly available to help soothe out these problems, making this A Night To Remember… even if some of the fellow guests are acting like inmates in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. The moral of the night is that Life is Beautiful, unless you’re one of the 12 Angry Men…


The entire experience is a strange and wonderful one that I loved. Secret Cinema is a truly great immersive theatrical experience and the night is topped off with a high quality film. It is something everyone should do and one of the best nights of my life.