The Decoy Bride is an average, predictable and pretty much standard British indie comedy; offering little more than cheesy jokes and awkward romance.

The film is one, which I hadn’t heard of prior to watching –and only watched because my girlfriend is a massive David Tennant fan. It’s no surprise that I didn’t know of the film, as it has almost nothing going for it (apart from that it stars David Tennant).

Lara Tyler (Alice Eve) is a famous actress hounded by the media and engaged to bumbling author James Arber (Tennant). In an attempt to get married out of the media’s eye the two of them run to the small island of Hegg – where one of Arber’s books is set – the media are not so easily fooled however and soon descend; forcing Arber to ‘marry’ a decoy bride local girl Katie (Kelly MacDonald).

Of-course Arber soon discovers that he doesn’t actually love his fiancée and is in fact in love with this Katie girl – in an extremely forced and chemistryless way. A dash across the island, a swim in a lake and an attempt at playing bag-pipes is all it takes for him to realize this as characters motivation are forced onto the audience.

The cast performances all feel incredibly awkward and stilted, which in turn makes the film feel similarly awkward. Even Tennant looks hungover/exhausted throughout the film and shows little dedication to his flat character. The pacing is also terrible as the film languishes in the mire of ‘mildly amusing’… everytime you feel a good joke might happen it doesn’t and there is little charm to cover up the missed opportunities.

The film in all its averageness and cliché does have one positive in that it doesn’t try to get puffy and emotional (as similar small-scale rom-coms often do), instead sticking to its (failed) attempts at wit.

The Decoy Bride is not a film worth watching, with little appeal to any audience – I can’t see anyone falling in love with it, that said it is an inoffensive piece of cinema that is not worth hating either.

4/10